Category Archives: #relationships

Happy Birthday To Me

Tomorrow I turn 29.

For the first time ever, I haven’t been at all excited about my birthday. Perhaps it’s got something to do with it being the last year of my twenties but instead of a having a pity party for one, I decided to put a positive spin on it in this blog post.

I remember when I was a lot younger I used to think turning thirty was so far into the future. Fast forward to the year 2020 and here it is. Staring at me right in the face and waving at me from behind number 29. My teenage self would be saying ‘Hang on – by the time I hit thirty I wanted to have babies, be married, have a house, have a really good job and still look pretty good for being thirty’.  Does life every work out the way you hoped and wished for it to? No. It is even better.

Don’t get me wrong – there is an element of truth in the above and yes of course I think about all of those things and how disappointed that not all of my boxes have been ticked yet. But then I think about all of the boxes that I never even thought of for myself ten years ago. Overcoming some of the hardest times to make me who I am now, getting to know myself, being confident in the type of woman I am etc. etc.

So whilst I sip on a G&T with my lovely other half cooking me a birthday dinner, for those of you who might start to be feeling that little bit older, that little bit more out of your comfort zone – just remember when you wanted what you currently have.  Those things that haven’t quite made the cut yet just need a little more time.

 

The Relationship 101

I have had my fair share of relationships – some more successful and longer lasting than others I admit – but I have certainly learnt a lot of lessons along the way and picked up some ‘tricks of the trade’ so to speak. Naturally, that makes me a modern day Relationship Guru! Hehe. But seriously, I’m a pretty good listener.

To start this new series of blog posts off I want to ask you guys what you want to read about and engage with. If you follow me on here, leave a comment below and if you are on my Instagram please respond in my stories with what topics you want to chat about with regards to relationships. Nothing is off limits. 😉

 

Just A Date

Good morning everyone. I hope that you are all enjoying this cooler weather – I know I am! I have been a bit absent from blogging recently and for no reason other than I am just super busy and I guess I am just enjoying being away from social media. I apologise if this blog post is a bit chatty. I have missed you guys 💕

For those of you who are new to the blog, welcome & for those who are back, hey guys. Nice to see you. If you have been following my blogging journey you’ll know that this weekend coming up was the weekend I was supposed to be getting married. Luckily, I am not and for me, it is just a date.

Planning a wedding for it then to not go ahead is brutal. I’m not going to lie. Finding your dream venue, sending save the dates, buying the dress, finding a florist, a photographer, a band, a cake lady and the loss of monies is just devastating. (And the occasional wedding related email that pops up in your inbox. Ouch!) However, my ex calling off our engagement was quite simply the best thing that ever happened to me. I am a stronger and more determined woman because of it all but I have also learnt to let down my guard, be softer and more open with my boyfriend and to love in a way I have never felt before.

The whole experience hasn’t put me off the idea of getting married and to be honest is now just something that I take in my stride. I don’t ever really think about it. It is just something that happened but it will never define me or my view on relationships.

This weekend I am going to Devon with my two best friends for a few girly nights away and I cannot wait. It is just what I need 🍾 X

My Someone

Over the past three months I have opened up my heart to someone who has shown me love, kindness and support. Every day this someone makes me smile. Every day this someone teaches me new things. Every day this someone makes my heart full. ❣

When my ex broke off our engagement, a close friend said to me ‘One day it will all make sense. You will understand why this has happened and you will find the right someone.’ Boy were they right.

Blinkers Off

We have all been in relationships where we have had those blinkers permanently switched ON. You can’t see anything your friends or family are concerned about and you put up with whatever ‘it’ is because that’s just how ‘it’ is. It’s always only when you’re out of ‘it’ that you can really admit to it. So here I am…admitting to it and writing about how to help avoid it happening again.

By now, I am sure it is old news that I am very happy and loved up. It has been three months and I am enjoying all the beginning bits of a new relationship. But it’s easy to be all butterflies when it feels like this – you have to follow your heart and your head. (Romantic I know!)

1. Don’t forget who you are.

2. Your dreams are just as important as theirs.

3. If something isn’t working, talk about it. If talking about it doesn’t help then it’s not right.

4. Compromising is a two way street.

5. Be honest with yourself. Are you happy?

I can hold my hands up and say that I was guilty of overlooking all of the above in my previous relationship. 🙋🏽‍♀️

Blinkers off.

It’s Not You

This is dedicated to a friend. ❤️

Heart break. One day your partner is there and the next day they aren’t. No warning. No signs. Nothing. After years of loving someone with all your heart, making their family yours, compromising by moving jobs or cities – tell me why some people think that’s OK?

You go round and round every detail, every disagreement, every argument and you just can’t understand why they walked away. You were fair. You listened to them. You wanted to make them happy.

Right now, nobody can say anything to make it better even though you know they are trying to help. All you keep thinking is ‘What did I do wrong?’ It takes a strong and honest person to self reflect and to question ones actions. Some can’t take responsibility and never think about how their actions left someone broken.

It’s a hard pill to swallow. It’s frankly s**t and it is going to hurt for a while. The rug was pulled from under you and you didn’t even get an explanation as to why.

If you’re reading this and this applies to you then just know it will get easier. When you’re ready, you will find someone who love you in a way you have never been loved. Then you’ll wonder where he has been your whole life.

Loads of love lady x

Choices

New relationships are magical and exciting. They give you butterflies and can make you feel like you’re the only two people in the world. But new relationships can also drag up some parts of old relationships…

It’s something I have been very open and honest about with my new partner and he has listened and has been very understanding. We talk about it and we are good at communicating. Something I haven’t had experience of really before from a partner.

Whether we like it or not, our past has an influence on our present and we have to work on it not affecting our best moments and our happiness. Easier said than done I know. It’s hard. It can be tricky to let down all of those walls and it can be hard to let someone new in.

For those of you who have been left heartbroken, scarred and hurt just remember that what happened to make you feel that way can only affect what you choose for it to. You will be OK.

❤️

Detox

Hey guys. Sorry I have been a bit MIA. I know I haven’t been as active on social media and I haven’t been blogging as much. This isn’t because I am unhappy or finding it hard to create content. Quite the opposite. I am the happiest I have ever been.

For those who have followed this blog from the beginning, I started blogging because my ex fiancée and I broke up. I am still blogging because my story has only just begun and I can’t wait to share it with you all along the way.

Sometimes you just need a few days to detox from creating images, posting and sharing all of your life. When all of the above becomes something you feel you should be doing that day, you know you need to take a break.

I don’t think enough people take time to live off the grid and take that time for themselves. Numbers of likes and followers might drop but are those things more important than living and loving what is happening in the moment?

The truth is I had the most incredible bank holiday weekend walking in the countryside, going on day trips to quaint beautiful towns and enjoying the sun with a gin…and all with the most wonderful man. 💕

What Is Love?

I have never been an advocate for or a believer in love at first sight. It is something I believe I have never experienced in the past. So let me ask you – what is love to you and how do you know when it’s right?

To me, love feels like home. It’s knowing that through it all that person will be there for you no matter what. It’s about being a best friend and smiling and laughing so much everyday that your cheeks hurt. It’s sharing your secrets and your fears. It’s about compromise and supporting one another to achieve your dreams. It’s about making new dreams together. It’s constantly finding yourself thinking about him and your heart skipping a beat at every thought.

Tomorrow marks 3 months since my ex began the process of breaking off our engagement. It might not sound like a long period of time but it is all the time I needed to see that what I believe love is wasn’t the same for him. Isn’t hindsight a beautiful thing…

‘When you know, you know!’ – a phrase that I never believed in. Until perhaps now.

The Unexpected

Dear Heart,

We’ve been through a lot together recently. There have been good and bad days but you know sometimes the best things happen after the absolute worst things. Go figure.

You meet by chance in the most unexpected way at the most unexpected time. There’s an instant connection and the chemistry between you is way above your head and like nothing you’ve ever felt before. The panic sets in and the hurt that once was is in the back of your mind. You start to question everything. You feel anxious and scared until they simply just smile and then you know you’re really in trouble.

Don’t let the past define what happens next on this big adventure we call life.

Love Me